DIARY · My 5 day juice cleanse

“Peanut butter jelly time” has pretty much been my life motto since December.
Recently my diet was just filled with sugary unhealthy food. I do love fresh vegetables and fruits but due to the stress of being a working human being I somehow adopted some bad habits. On top I also drank a lot of coffee. I felt unhealthy and drained of energy. Something had to chance for the better.

So why not do a juice cleanse?

No solid food, no caffeine, no sugar, no alcohol – just 6 cold pressed juices a day topped with herbal tea and a hell lot of water ( which I never drink enough of, cause I find it tastes so boring). If you start feeling really hungry it’s optional to have a banana or some vegetable brew.

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Luckily I have never been a big drinker so I am not gonna miss that. Apart from the very occasional cigarette every couple of month, I gave up smoking, too but I am for sure a sugar addict so we’ll see how the next 5 days go. It’s important to state that I started the cleanse not to loose weight but to feel more healthy again. Since your metabolism slows down during a cleanse it’s not a good diet choice anyway. Especially if you keep eating in an unhealthy way afterwards you might pile on the pounds even quicker than before.

Kale and me, my juice company of choice, delivers all the juice supply you need for your cleanse, so 5 x 6 juices in my case, to your door in a sustainable little straw cooling box. Compared to other companies, of which some are super expensive and some new recent ones are cheaper their pricing is somehow in the middle with 79 € for a 3-day and 130 € for a 5-day cleanse. The juices all have numbers on them so you know in which order to drink them. They also have cute names like Catie Carrot or Pamela Pine, so you can pretend you made friends with them. Basically, you and the juices are like Taylor Swift and her girls squad so what can go wrong?

How to prepare
You can do it like me and eat everything unhealthy in your kitchen cause you want it gone or you can do what is recommended and that would be eating just fruits and vegetables the day before you start your cleanse. Same applies for the first day after your finished.

Does a Detox even make any sense or is our body not cleaning itself constantly anyway?
Recently this questions has become a very heated topic. Just like over the topic of veganism people tend to insult each other online whether that is true or not. Honestly, I think yes, the body is constantly cleaning itself through organs like the liver or the kidneys and even the skin. But, when the toxins, and there are lot of them like pollution, sugar, alcohol, etc. become to much I think they can build up in your body. So to give your body a rest, to let your digestive system have a break and to mentally focus on living a healthier life makes total sense for me. The concept of a fast or detox, which is the more modern expression, is ancient and has been practiced in many cultures and religions. If you practice yoga you might also have come across it. So to sum this up, a juice cleanse for me is about resetting my taste buds and trying to eat an overall healthier diet but also about bringing body, mind and soul back into their essential balance.


“Tell me why I don’t like mondays”

Energy: okay-ish
Hunger: fine
Mood: motivated

The first day of the week starts with ‘this time of the month’ and some belly cramps that wake me up around 5.00. I am telling myself that this must be the best time to start a detox since my body is cleaning itself anyways. So what better time to start the healing process.  However, I still have to go to work, which is fine since it keeps me distracted. I am not hungry but maybe that is because I had 4 slices of Nutella bread yesterday evening, which are still keeping my stomach occupied. Not what you’re supposed to do do but I did it anyway. Perhaps, because I skipped the coffee today I got a nasty headache in the afternoon. Ginger tea didn’t help so I just went to bed early.


“Fat, sick and nearly dead”

Energy: from okay to super low in the course of the day
Hunger: not hungry, just craving coffee and chocolate cake
Mood: apathic

The pain hast gone and I neither feel hungry nor euphoric. Kind of very neutral. I started the day with a detox tea and 30 minutes of yoga and once I got hungry I had my first juice. Last night I watched the documentary ‚fat, sick and nearly dead‘ which is about a guy who was fat and sick until he started to juice like a crazy motherfucker. This motivated me a bit but I am still a little bit suspicious. I then watch a couple of youtube videos explaining how juice cleanses are a total scam because our bodies are cleaning themselves on a daily basis anyway. I am leaning towards believing the fat guy who got fitter but no video can make up for own experience so I am determined to fight through this. I have to leave early from work because I can’t concentrate whatsoever nor do I care. I also cannot remember the last sentence I just wrote so I am going to stop for now and take nap. I feel dizzy as fuck.


“I’m happy just to dance with you”

Energy: surprisingly okay
Hunger: I don’t even eat Snickers but I really want one
Mood: average

Better than yesterday but still far from great. Chocolate and coffee are still popping up on my mind. I am not really hungry but I do want something sweet real bad. I guess my blood sugar levels have hit rock bottom. I feel a bit like I just got home from a 2 day rave – just without the fun. I can handle less work load than usual. If I had nothing to do it would be even worse I assume. I am starting to doubt if this is healthy. It sure as hell doesn’t feel like it right now. On the other hand these might still be withdrawal symptoms from sugar and caffeine so I am determined not to cheat but to fight through this.


“Sleepless nights and messy mornings”

Energy: better than the days before
Hunger: not too hungry, fancy a salad and still want chocolate but only for dessert
Mood: I miss having fun, this isn’t fun

Last night I lay in bed sleepless. It was then that I made the decision to cut the cleanse half a day short and do a half juice / half healthy food day on Friday. Partly because I wanna go to the cinema and I have to work on Saturday and I just can’t be asked anymore. However, I had no slips, not even a banana or a green tea and I feel that today my body has adjusted to the fact that it won’t get a Latte Macchiato today. So I feel like I can do this but am I enjoying it? Honestly, right now I am bored of it. Positive side fact though: my skin seems to have become a lot better and most of the spots have magically vanished. Everyone around me has a cold and maybe it’s just a placebo effect, but I feel like right now I am so stuffed with vitamins that there is no chance in hell I could catch one too.


“This is the end my friend”

Energy: good
Hunger: dope
Mood: allright

I have a juice in the morning, hit the gym for a light workout then another juice and in the early afternoon I start fizzling out the cleanse with a big bowl of fruit followed by Zoodles later on. Didn’t remember bananas were so delicious but they really are. So I feel like I’m back in the game of life and looking back these felt like a tough couple of days. Tough in an ‘it’s my own fault, 1st world problem kind of sense’. I lost about 3 kilos, which feels a bit too much but I am guessing these are mostly from water retensions. However, I definitely feel like I am going to eat way more healthy again and I am happy to have chosen the power of the mind over the urge of stuffing oneself with crappy foods.

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- This is not an Advertorial. I did not get paid to write this, but I got a discounted price on the juices -

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  • We have designed the cleanse so that your body gets the maximum amount of nutritional benefits in a quick five days. Upon finishing the cleanse you will most likely feel a renewed sense of energy- thanks to ridding of the toxins, a noticeable decrease in cravings, and a side effect of weight loss.

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